Letter to NATO and/or the European Union
(Part of PHASE ONE of the Top Secret Invasion Plan)

NATO / EU
NATO or EU PLAZA
New York

Dear Sirs:

I am an independent nation called PAPPARELLI. I currently reside in Canada but I am fully sovereign and independent. I am writing to you regarding the nation of Luxembourg.

Relations between me and Luxembourg are strained to say the least. First, they refuse to recognize me as an independent nation, which is stupid. Second, I am sure we've all had enough of their crap to last several lifetimes.

I bet you're all sick of their total mooching of your backs, too. They're really small and they hide like cowards under your cloak. However, like many oppressive states, they are using their superior numbers and size against me.

For example:

POPULATION
Me: One (plus MISTER BIFFY)
Luxembourg Population: More than one

ARMY:
Me: One
Luxembourg: More than me

My only advantage is a superior moral position, absolute determination and many allies and supporters.

Due to these circumstances, I have a few requests to make.

1. Ensure that Luxembourg is immediately kicked out of both NATO and the European Union. They're total moochers and have taken enough from you.
2. Make sure that Luxembourg stops their crap right now.

Please note that I have no quarrel with either NATO or the European Union, and also that I realize you guys aren't related or anything.

Please comply with these requests and both NATO and the European Union can look forward to many, many years of productive cooperation and mutual respect with PAPPARELLI.

Sincerely,

Joseph Papparelli
Emperor of the INDEPENDENT NATION OF PAPPARELLI

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