Whale-Sex®: UN survey on Whale-Sex®

Joseph Papparelli's™ Wonderful World of Whale-Sex®

UNSCOWS (United Nations Special Committee On Whale Sex) International Survey #1

The following survey was taken in 137 countries around the world in 92 languages. It was randomly sent out to 138,495,912 people in various countries, 138,495,910 of whom responded. The other two were tracked down and shot. The survey consisted of 24 questions regarding Whale-Sex®, which included questions about general knowledge of Whale-Sex®, preferences regarding Whale-Sex® and practices. Each question is listed as originally worded, with the number of respondents for each option listed. The information in this survey will be made available for public use, and will be taken into consideration for future action by UNSCOWS or the General Assembly.

Are you familiar with the practice of Whale-Sex®?
YES- 138 495 098

NO- 789

NOT SURE- 23
Are you aware of the existence of warm-blooded, water-dwelling mammals called Whales?
YES- 138 495 898

NO- 0

NOT SURE- 12
Would you be interested in pursuing a long-term friendship (platonic) with a Whale?
YES- 115 895 165

NO- 22 600 700

NOT SURE- 45
Do you, or have you ever, found Whales to be sexually attractive?
YES- 138 495 900

NO- 0

NOT SURE- 10
Given the opportunity, would you kiss a Whale (on the cheek)?
YES- 112 594 123

NO- 25 901 000

NOT SURE- 787
Given the opportunity, would you kiss a Whale (on the lips)?
YES- 112 595 123

NO- 25 900 000

NOT SURE- 787
Would you be interested in pursuing a long-term relationship (sexual) with a Whale?
ABSOLUTELY- 130 000 000

YES- 495 000

WITHOUT QUESTION- 900

MAYBE- 3

NO- 6

NOT SURE- 1
Have you ever kissed a Whale in any fashion?
YES- 99 495 505

NO- 39 000 400

NOT SURE- 5
Have you ever considered engaging in non-intercourse sexual activity with a Whale or other sea-mammal?
YES- 138 495 900

NO- 7

NOT SURE- 3
Have you ever engaged in non-intercourse sexual activity with a Whale?
YES- 130 490 900

NO- 5 005 011

MAYBE- 2 999 997

NOT SURE- 2
Have you ever engaged in non-intercourse sexual activity with any other sea mammal?
YES- 70 450 900

NO- 68 045 006

DOES THAT TIME IN COLLEGE COUNT? - 2

NOT SURE- 2
Have you ever engaged in non-intercourse sexual activity with an aquatic animal other than a mammal?
YES- 70 000

NO- 15 910

NOT SURE- 138 400 000
Have you ever engaged in sexual intercourse with a Whale?
YES- 141 577 892
Have you ever engaged in sexual intercourse with any other sea mammal?
YES- 15 910

NO- 138 450 000

NOT SURE- 30 000
Have you ever engaged in sexual intercourse with an aquatic animal other than a mammal?
YES- 894

NO- 5 664

CUTTLEFISH ONLY- 138 489 336

NOT SURE- 16
Have you ever considered partaking in group sexual activity involving one or more Whales or other sea-mammals?
YES- 100 495 910

NO- 8 000 000

NOT SURE- 30 000 000
How often do you engage in group sexual activity with one or more Whales and/or other sea mammals?
OFTEN- 75 000

REGULARILY- 420 900

FREQUENTLY- 138 000 000

SELDOM - 3

NEVER- 3

NOT SURE- 5
Do you enjoy watching Whales engage in sexual activity?
YES- 100 000 910

YES- 8 000 000

VERY MUCH- 30 495 000
What is the difference between a pig and a monkey?

PORK- 5 000

HAM- 910

THREE- 138 490 000

Do you support governmental / intergovernmental funding for Whale-Sex®?
YES- 138 000 000

NO- 400 000

MAYBE- 90 000

NOT SURE- 5 907

WHAT IS A GOVERNMENT? - 3

Would you support a 20% tax increase in order to increase public awareness and participation in Whale-Sex®?
YES- 110 000 000

NO, I WOULD PREFER 50%- 28 495 909

NOT SURE- 1

Do you support an end to peacekeeping and other humanitarian aid in favour of greater support for Whale-Sex® initiatives?
YES- 138 495 000

NO- 910

Is Whale-Sex® a GOOD THING?

YES- 138 495 910

YES, BUT ONLY ON FRIDAY, MONDAY THOUGH WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY AND WEEKENDS- 154 451 754

ABSOLUTELY- 985 028 987

NO, IT IS MORE OF A FABULOUS THING- 874 058 478

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